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I don’t remember feeling homesick in college. From a young age, I spent extended periods of time away from home and my parents. This is likely not the typical upbringing for many college-bound youth or homesickness would be less prevalent.
Homesickness is a real thing. Almost everyone leaving home for an extended period will have feelings of anxiety or distress. These feelings are amplified by unfamiliar surroundings, absence of friends or family and new or strange cultures and customs. Going away to college can encompass all these things. To compound the problem, after only a few days to adjust to the new environment, the student has to begin performing academically at a very high level. One misstep in any of the first-semester classes can make it feel like the sky is falling during an earthquake.
Every year I watch clients apply to colleges that are as far away from home as possible. And every year no more than one of those students attend college outside the state. On the other hand, those students that are focused on an institution that is best for their academic goals will go almost anywhere if they believe the school will provide the academic opportunities they seek. It’s the same concept used when dealing with retirees. The individual should not retire from something, they should retire to something. Those who retire to something live significantly longer and have a better quality of life than those who retire from something.
I came into the world at the tail end of the Baby Boomer generation. Families were large and kids went everywhere and did everything back then. A few months ago, I attended a wedding and one of my nieces drove everywhere we went. That seemed strange to me since we always took her fathers car. Later I discovered this was because her son was with us. Her son is not allowed to be transported anywhere unless one of his parents are driving the car. My prediction is that in about seven years, if he goes off to college that homesickness will be major challenge for him.
The battle against homesickness can begin prior to starting preschool. Don’t make a big deal of keeping your kids right next to you, let them stay with family members for an afternoon, let them spend time in the summer with grandparents or other favorite relatives and send them to summer camps. As long as they understand that they can be safe and secure away from mom, dad and home, the sickness that comes with going away to college will not require a physician’s care.
